So I have been dealing with a lot for a long time now.There have been a lot of changes mostly good very welcome changes.I set here thinking about all the bad things that have gone on..........I feel very angry inside trying to get my heart and mind to find the way to over come it all.My heart and mind are so turned around and going every which way that I am finding myself making things up into something real when there is not anything going on.Nothing like making something out of nothing.Trust the word trust what does this word mean anymore I would have said trust mean you are going to get f-ed over.At least this is that way my mind and heart have been thinking/feeling.Now I m going to stop thinking the way I am going to start telling myself that I can Trust.I can trust myself and the people that are still in my life the people that i cant trust at the point in my life are no longer in it YAY!! this is a good thing.but anyway i still have a very long way to go to get my life how i want it.the thing i want in my life are what i need to think about.I believe this is the time to start dreaming again time to start making the dreams come true.This is time to start to LOVE again love myself.I am worth loving going to remind myself of this every time i start to feel bad about things.The real catch is that i have nothing, not a thing to feel bad about I have not done anything wrong so why i am letting myself feel bad.I am a good person this is who i am this is who i have always been the person who loves cares and worry's about people that are close to my heart.i have done a lot of things for my family which i am just glad that i could do for them.Sometimes i feel bad that i cant do more for the people that i love.(In a way like this it is not a bad thing it reminds us that we love care about people and that we are good people.)